The majority of the time, I can keep my feelings at bay when I think about the Church, but every once in a while, like today, I sometimes feel unsettling feelings. I am not upset I was raised Mormon. I had a wonderful childhood.
One thing that really gets to me sometimes is the fact that every single person at my home ward thinks I am lost. They think I’ve “gone astray”. They are sad for me. They send me letters. I wish so bad I could make them understand how lost THEY are. They have NO CLUE about certain things.
I wish my brother and mother wouldn’t have heart ache for me. I wish I could tell them and help them see, but they are so brainwashed. To them, I am just “going through something” and I’ll be back. They think my salvation is at risk.
It kills me to know that most Mormons that I know and love don’t know about some of the lies they’ve been told. I mean I had NO IDEA how the “translation” of the book of Mormon really went down until after I actually researched it. I had never heard the actual truth about it. It was shocking, and obviously a huge hoax.
They have no idea that Brigham Young (the 2nd prophet of the Church) said you cannot achieve salvation unless you participate in polygamy. “Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned; and I will go still further and say, take this revelation, or any other revelation that the Lord has given, and deny it in your feelings, and I promise that you will be damned. ” -Brigham Young; Journal of Discourses 3:39
These are things that didn’t take me long to find on my own, but they will never see anything like this because they are terrified to look at anything not issued by the Church about the Church because they were told not to.
The Church is not a bad Church. They are just very very brainwashed and very very confused. They follow the teachings of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young who were not good people at all. They have no idea of some of the horrible things that were done. Mormons are wonderful people, but the Church they belong to is not the true Church of God like they believe. It was started based on manipulation, fear, desire for power, desire for women, and desire for status. If they could just spend ONE hour researching ACTUAL history not produced by the Church, it would be so clear to them.
My heart aches for them. I wish so bad they could open their minds up enough to listen to what I have to say. I could show them they are wasting their time thinking that the Mormon Church is the ONLY way to achieve salvation. Life has so many options. There are so many paths and so many journeys for everyone. Being forced to think there is only one way is such a limitation in life. I hope one day they will branch out just enough to see how much beauty there is in experience.